The following passage is
enhanced with the use of an online thesaurus.
Original Version:
On the first day, we met our class teacher Mr
Wong, we thought he would be very strict to us. After one week, we found Mr
Wong was very nice! We like this secondary school and we like to be in 1A. This
is a good school and 1A is very good. The teachers in this school are very kind
and nice and our classmates are also kind, friendly and nice. We like each
other very much.
Improved Version:
On the first day, we met our
class teacher Mr Wong, we thought he would be very strict to us. After one
week, we found Mr Wong was very charming! We love this secondary school and we are pleased to be in
1A. This is an exceptional school
and 1A is excellent. The teachers in this school
are very kind and gentle and our classmates are also delightful, friendly and nice. We like each other very
much.
With the changes, the
improved version has a more variety of vocabulary and their main ideas and
meanings were not changed. In this way, we can see how a thesaurus can help
with our writings.
No comments:
Post a Comment